Perhaps after years, this is for the first time that I haven’t made any New Year resolution. In the preceding years , the fag end would make me feel so charged and burdened with hordes of 'promises to keep', targets devised and time lines fixed. Virtually, it was like waiting for the whistle to blow or a gun to shoot at unearthly 0000 hrs with sleeves rolled up, get, set, go! The race between real time and self would commence but sooner than later, I would realise that memory was so short lived, time was such a constraint, limitations were too many and mission accomplishment naturally seemed dim with each passing day of so-unfriendly- cold- January !
For past few years, the targets have revolved mostly around weight loss and following of regular work out and walk regime and the results are for anybody to see. At the end of the year-its again back to square one !!
It has been equally hard not to 'think' of a New Year resolution as old habits die hard. May be I have been trying to nurture hope against hope that in garb of 'let go', I may feel better determined to make things happen in the direction of seeing the manual weighing machine needle more on the left of weight-as-on-day-one- of -new -year rather than on the right. And how with digital machine, I have frantically prayed for replacement of 8 by 7 as the first of two digits!!
But it's a touchy issue. No accolades come easy even when one has starved and been on de-tox or strict diet regime with days without an appropriate wheat chapati, following one-roti-a-day and that too made of barley, oat flour, wheat husk or any of the cereals which are found only in the dieticians' vocabulary.
So I really could not get myself to set for me a new year resolution. It was like freeing me, giving an edge and let the hold loose to help me breathe easy, feel unburdened, un -stressed perhaps hoping that better performance may showeth on its own after rare gesture of generosity by my own self. Smart move, isn't it?
I happened to attend a Scouts and Girl Guides, Bulbuls and Cubs' state level camp at Karnal on second day of New Year. Weather was rough-windy, foggy. It had drizzled too.
I was taken aback to see hordes of campers making and decorating huts, erecting structures with bamboos and bamboo threads. For a few seconds, I stood there spell bound acutely conscious of two sweaters that I was wearing and a shawl over that and still feeling cold !
From there, I was taken inside the hall wherein over one thousand of them I saw seated in disciplined manner on the floor and their enthusiasm roared with a 'Scout, clap go' from the stage. They were of all age groups from 5 years to plus 14. The shine in their eyes made me very nostalgic as on any such occasion I tend to recall the overwhelming courage and enthusiasm of NSS students of FC College, Hisar in 80s. I could half hear my name being announced to address the children. I realised I really hadn't come here to 'give' them anything but I was feeling endowed with, showered and soaked with splashes of positive energy of the kids present. I honestly cannot recall all that I said in my address but once I was through with it, I sat on the stairs of the stage and urged all of them to sing together 'ham honge kaamyaab ek din..' The environs became so charged, electrifying and filling that everybody-students and teachers - were singing with gusto and full throated ease the immortal world song and I looked at Heavens, uttered a silent prayer for them all, paid gratitude to God Almighty for gifting such an aura of positivity and elation on the New Year!
Bless my young soldiers of the country. I am sure there is no stopping us from being just-the best and nothing but the best in the world once we have imbibed this relentless spirit, this ability to sing so spiritedly and from the bottom of the heart. For sure 'deep in my heart, I do believe, we shall overcome some day'.
And I came back feeling 'now is the way clear/ now is the meaning plain' . Why stress oneself with resolves and apprehended 'let down'? Why even leave a scope for negatives to let oneself bogged down when all that is needed is faith and belief 'deep in the heart'. Our task only to march on as does Time, isn't it?