Thursday, February 24, 2011

Are you still carrying?

         Hmmm…it is difficult, tricky, hard, complex, intricate, nay beri difficult indeed jee to simply ‘let go’. How can we? How is it possible? Naaaa..this is really not sambhav, bhai. ‘jaane bhee do’ was possible when I was a thumb sucking, kanche playing child. Then it was easy not to carry a loss, a pain, a hurt beyond the sleep-full night. The heavy baggage of heartfelt pain could not be carried by lean, thin, tiny, little me (how hard to imagine that, my God!!). Memory card of a child consists of only a few bytes. It is easier for him to clear the cache (pronounce kaish) and this fifty year old me had not even known the meaning of this phrase till the other day when a friend used it in an sms.

I could never understand when somebody would use the word be-faltoo-a double negative. Now I do. It meant ‘By God, really faltoo’- clothes, utensils, bags, purses we hoard so fondly in our homes like wires in a bureaucrat’s office. We may have lost the ability to remember our phone number but our hyper-susceptible to painful impressions wali memory possesses card of thousand of GBs. In proportion to positives we carry so much of negatives that an imbalance is created and its like getting along the waves of the sea and then crying: ‘oh, am drenched!’. Year after year the expansion is taking place like our own flab.

       Not only this we also talk of loutna, going back in time again and again from what is, where we are, unable to accept things as they are. A reprimand from a mother would generally be: maine kaha than na? Driving at break neck speed and crossing a stupid-jumbled speed braker followed by a PWD B&R hoarding: You had been warned-aapko  soochit kar diya gaya tha. It lessens the pain or enhances is anybody’s guess.

      Carrying comes naturally to us. Letting go does not. We are making it booming business for so many to teach us how to take a deep breath in, release it, open the eyes and feel relaxed. Like zen Ekido we continue to ‘carry the girl’. It is painful to let go the I of a  you and I.  Naturally it is hard to feel and be like the people, the mob, the mass, the crowd that forgets, does not remember despite having its best sucked out and wasted. But to be fair to ourselves, we do forget too or else how shall we sing a love song in a strange land when we have been through the stage when everything but death comes. We carry fire in the heart and go on.


  1. ya phir shayad hum carry to karte hain par jab tak koi aur khubsurat ya behtarrin vakya uski jagah na le le, jisse uska mahatv apneaap he kam ho jae. kyonki insaan ki fitrat use jyada der negativity ko carry kaarne nehi deti..
    Actually a positive person like you have an inherent ability to see smething good in everything and you have learnt to let go and stop carrying for better beginings.It shows that u didnt give up for any reasons and hve come up with such a beautiful piece of have learnt to smothen ur pain. love u n respect u for that.

  2. Letting go is difficult. We are possessive by nature. We clutch relationships, cling to memories, keep visiting the past. The paradox is that we do let go but in order to stick. We curb pain, dissimulate, seek solace in dictum-- forgive and forget, take refuge in hypothesis of ' unconditional love'. And thus we carry on--- bruised, seething . The negativity is surely subdued by our resilience but the ache..........jaane bhi do yaaro.

  3. Thanx fr beautiful blogs n specially fr uploading SAFAR LAFZO... bt u still owe me my hard copy of that..yaad hai na?

  4. amazing and so true.. The person who learns to let go of the negatives of life has surely learnt the art of living a happy life